Sariah, I have discovered that, SAGG, like Brainmeta has an ignore button, thank GOD!!!
Now, with help from
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-back-down-gracefully-in-an-argumentlet us dialogue about, and focus, on the topic, Re: EGO
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The following are not dogmas; they are just notes from what I have read:
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Pre-Op Before we operate let's Scrub in first.
The subject of arguments is a complex one so I'm going to segment this article into several distinct groups and I'll decode each one, complete with videos to give you ample comprehension of the particular area. This is going to require surgery of your mindset.
We will need to remove, or neutralize the cancer
(can't sir?) that's eating away at your ego, causing it to violently defend its life. I believe the surgery will be successful as it has a high success rate, and is completely safe.
As with any good surgery, we won't be removing any vital organs of thought, I will simply show you the cure and leave it up to you the surgeon, to decide if its the best course of action to take for your well being.
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This is all about:
How to back down gracefully in an argument, retain your dignity, enlighten the other person, and sustain your own views.
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Do not interfere with others fights, especially if your doing so ONLY because you feel angry at what you see.
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Take Personal Responsibility for your feelings and emotions.
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Have the courage to question your every emotion.
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When we're angry at anyone else for any reason, in reality were mad at ourselves for what we see about ourselves in them.
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Its all in the definitions
Simply put re-framing is the art of changing your definitions of events.
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How you define things determines how you react to your world. How you define words defines how you react to language.
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Healthy dialogue: In healthy dialogue information is exchanged, in an unhealthy debate or argument, egocentric nonsense is exchanged.
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Psychoanalysis' definition of the ego:
the ego is the division of the psyche that is concious.
EGO MOST IMMEDIATELY controls thought and Behavior and is the most in touch with external reality--what we perceive with the senses.
This means that, if left unchecked, the ego can cause you to lose your cool, to say and do things that are not constructive, or based on reason, (like fighting just to be right even if your aware that your wrong!). In most arguments it's the ego that needs attention, not the subject matter.
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Dictionary.com's Definition:
* 1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
* 2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.
* 3. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
* 4. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.
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Feel free to add you notes, including questions.
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THE GOAL IS:
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The goal is enlightenment, not egotistical reprise. If people just leave their ego at the door, retain the definition of their goal, and use a little intelligence, they would experience:
* Less anger and arguments
* Aha Moments
* Friendship not competition
* Love
* Growth
* new keywords/concepts to look up in their favorite subjects
* deeper meaning to things they love and definiton of things they don't understand fully
* enlightenment in its purest form
* Less frustration with people, also known as learning "tolerance"
* The rush you feel when someone validates your opinions
* Receptiveness from others which translates into acknowledgment one of the 10 major things every person strives for in their life
* open mindedness, seeing things they would have missed had they kept their rigid views and not allowed new possibly valuable information in
* more friends and people who respect them highly
* money from writing hub pages because they speak more from understanding than ego driven opinionated rantings
*wink*
* much much more...
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