Final The anatomy of an AVM

Posted by
Kathleen Eykamp on Feb 20, 2004 at 20:43

Re: The anatomy of an AVM (Kathleen Eykamp)

I had to advise my husband's family this condition could be genetic. They acknowledged deaths in the last two generations to brain haemorrhaging, but no one considered it could be genetic. I then had to prepare my not-fully witted son that he needed to take responsibility for his off-spring, however, as yet (now in his 30's) he's not much different than he was when he was five years old - only smarter in the wrong ways. Lots of off-spring but no "father" in there, in spite of his father's family being totally co-operative. They had tried everything, also, as their children were in the ranks, one dieing at 32.

We are estranged, my first son and self, but still in touch with his father (and extended family), whom remarried and had four more children. Now future generations can approach this with early CAT scans, rather than discarding all that hard learned knowledge, beating THEIR heads against the wall.

My first born would like to resume contact but it's the same ol' same ol'. Self preservation told me this 'being' that settled arguments by head-butting people, permanently disabling one Sr Sarg (policeman), was getting too big for me to handle.

He now lives as a free agent, as has proven to be unaccountable for his crimes - Certified even, but smart enough to check himself out of all help arranged, even if he arranged it in agreement, but could out-fox them, too ... or scared them for some of his most unusual traits. He seems pleased with that as a life style choice, and I'm resigned I can't fix him, for the moment. I still have faith or hope ...

My second son wasn't effected, but we had to live with this monster-like-being, walking on egg shells and dodging projectiles, working with every agency and specialist we sourced that WOULD work with him, and learning through the processes. As often as not I was doing the research and briefing them.

No one bothered to ask my credentials (this forum), but we both have earned a doctorate on this alone, and will someday apply for one, as have all the resources and feed back to support this phenomena, that is, on closer examination, self explanatory. If I had bought, "deal with it, it's your problem...", others in my immediate family would most likely have suffered with or lost children, unavoidably, my immediate family, being absolutely supportive. They've watched all this - they know my resolve and learned along with me, and have bright, questioning children in their ranks and, therefore, accustomed to being subjected to 'ethics tests'. I just birthed the Grand-daddy of tests for his generation. Many, many learned from my son's malady, once I could enrol them to. He was the most difficult patient, subject, child, problem to learn from/with.

I broke the cycle as best as I could, as brain abnormalities were presenting too frequently. That would be phenomenal, except researched it to learn some received a double-dose of what has been considered a predominantly male Oriental condition, the family being blondes and red-headed Nordics with fair freckled skin and reverse almond eyes, and that the 32 year old death by brain haemorrhage was female .... DNA testing has since confirmed what I resourced on my own.

And that AVM's can be "fixed", even in the most extreme cases, but is better if intervened early. It would appear the hyperactive+amoral component doesn't always present, but in this particular strain, all three presented and we could never find a means to address the amoral part. I wouldn't think it unrealistic to suggest, if you have a child presenting with amoral hyperactivity, have them checked ... inside their heads, not just behavioural or disciplinary techniques.

My oldest son may very well like to work with specialists, provided he can find them more knowing than he is, with his best interests (a) given, and playing by his rules ... must be said. I wouldn't be surprised if he were reading this now - is about as close as he can get to me at the moment.

My/our second son and wife haven't had children yet. In his mid 20's, he's super bright, trauma induced, I'm sure. He was a gentle spirit and his brother the devil incarnate, or so it appeared to everyone else. I was constantly being told I was going beyond the call of duty, but, as a mother, couldn't buy that, and needed proof myself it couldn't be rectified, to let go. In the meantime, however keeping him at home subjected my younger son to constant threat. Did I said perpetrator's deep-seeded desire to rid us of little brother's competition - tried to kill him twice, but sorta got used to him when the youngest reached 5. He has no love of his brother, but is unrelenting in trying to make peace with myself, knowing he can't do it .... yet. Think even he had hoped the surgeries would remove or replace what was missing, only it quite simply didn't, more to my disappointment than his, I'm certain.

For this exercise and honing I only needed to be a mother, willing to tackle the problem head on because it was my son. His own father gave up before I did, having four more children, only now with the benefit of early CAT or MRI scans, hence intervention on the lethal component.

If you're interested, ask how I managed that, to end up running community and health centres, outreach programs and community projects, half-way houses with my youngest son, for boys that were just from broken homes. Damaged, but not irreversible, or teachable in a balanced manner - the difference was profound. And I'm still teaching ... as a hobby? What do you think I might be teaching, and what do you reckon are my credentials. And my motivation was my first born son. The law came first, and was lost for priorities, and I resumed my greater interest in law, but am still just Kathy, and am just living up to that.

This is open to discussion, most particularly someone interested in connecting with my son, when he's ready. Confine abuses to the forum, where they belong, apparently. I've heard (felt) them all before, only much worse than any of you could ever deliver here, and it only served to toughen my hide and sharpen my mind all the more.

And the virus attacks have stopped - for the moment.

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