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#21147 - 05/01/07 10:16 PM A Universe of his own
Blacknad Offline

Registered: 10/05/05
Posts: 901
Loc: Coventry, England
Writing a short sci-fi story and thought I would get some comments if people have time. Its just tongue in cheek and needs further editing. I want to know whether the scientific references make sense.


George Caldercott should be dead - or to be more precise, George Caldercott should never have been born. Some time after that ecstatic coital instant when sperm finally meets egg and two strands of DNA fuse, something other than George Caldercott should have resulted. Of course, had the child been male, he would likely still have been called George Caldercott, but he wouldn't have actually been George Caldercott.
Even stranger than this was the fact that George knew he shouldn't be. From the moment his brain was capable of understanding, he knew that his existence here was contrary to the rules governing this universe and his conception had been subject to a suspension of the natural laws of physics. What is more, the point at which George's brain was capable of grasping such a concept was when he emerged from the soothing darkness of his mother's warm innards to a shocking, bright and noisy reality that he quickly decided he did not like and would do his utmost to escape.
George soon realised that you don't just 'escape' and his childhood was mostly spent trying to behave like a child and conceal the fact that he found most adults to be painfully dense. Their petty concerns bored him and their interests were of such little consequence that he found it was all he could do to restrain himself from shouting out, "look stupid, people are starving to death while you live in consumer heaven, and you're acting like its the end of civilization because I've smeared poo in my hair - ironically, something I did on purpose to disguise the fact that I'm far more intelligent than you."
But George kept stum, knowing that this kind of outburst coming from a two year old would probably end with him lying on a table having his sensitive parts prodded and probed by child development experts. He simply had to content himself by imagining reaching out to throttle his mother until she turned blue and realised that crayon on the wall wasn't that important after all. It wasn't that he was malicious; it was just difficult for a small boy to find that those charged with his welfare were imbeciles.
As for his parents, Belinda and Charles Caldercott, they knew George was gifted, and very proud they were too, they just never realised that his gifting elevated him almost to the freakish level of divinity. George learned very quickly to avoid the raised eyebrows and stunned silences that his behaviour would illicit and so became expert at passing himself off as a mere drooling child, however he wasn't entirely convincing and his parents were still puzzled by such things as his unnatural interest in the Discovery Channel.
George managed to get through school without revealing the true extent of his genius - it was easier to fly under the radar, avoiding the often brutal treatment meted out by boys to anyone who had the audacity to understand anything other than football. Even so, his inability to do small-talk and engage in the stock social niceties meant he always hovered on the edges and he resented it. It was a painful, lonely existence, devoid of equals, finding even his teachers slow witted. But he played the game, knowing that if anyone even suspected what he really was things would quickly become unbearable.
The one thing George did have was time to study. Every evening he would arrive home and clamber upstairs clutching a bundle of library books. Stopping only to cram down his dinner, he would work his way through about three to four books a night. He could scan a page in seconds, picking out enough key words to make sense of it all. He read chronologically, starting with Babylonian writings, through to Sun Tzu, through to the Bible, and then eventually onto the Greek philosophers, all the way to Shakespeare and finally ending with the very latest papers on Quantum and String Theory. By the time George finished school almost every major work on human nature, the meaning of life, or the nature of the universe had passed beneath his hungry gaze. The one thing they all held in common was that George found them vaguely unsatisfying, but they furnished him with a world of background knowledge upon which he built a much more comprehensive picture of existence.
So in his sixteenth year George finally set his mind free to do his own thinking and experimentation. Within just four weeks he had built upon Einstein's fumblings and every paper written since and developed a Grand Unified Theory, which enabled him one week later to finish a Theory of Everything. Understanding how the universe worked was just the start…


#21152 - 05/02/07 12:49 AM Re: A Universe of his own [Re: Blacknad]
redewenur Offline

Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 1840
Excellent stuff, Blacknad.
That's right up my alley. Forty-five years ago I read Olaf Stapledon's "Odd John", a story along similar lines but with the focus on the tragedy of a wonderful mind born a million years (or thereabouts) before its time. Stapledon's writing is now quaintly dated, and I would very much like to read something similar written in modern language. Hurry up and get it published!
"Time is what prevents everything from happening at once" - John Wheeler

#21183 - 05/02/07 08:30 AM Re: A Universe of his own [Re: redewenur]
terrytnewzealand Offline

Registered: 08/02/06
Posts: 1031
Loc: Whangarei New Zealand
Blacknad. How much of that is remotely autobiographical? Liked it. Maybe break it up into smaller pargraphs, easier on the eye. It is art after all.

And remember "Alice in Wonderland". She reckoned a book was no good without conversations.

#21194 - 05/02/07 07:42 PM Re: A Universe of his own [Re: terrytnewzealand]
Mitthrawnuruodo Offline

Registered: 04/05/07
Posts: 30
Loc: Empire State
"It wasn't that he was malicious; it was just difficult for a small boy to find that those charged with his welfare were imbeciles."

Blacknad your character is smoldering with anger (hatred?) against humanity's lack of due respect for him. Can George address his madness..or, to George anyway, his madness is everyone elses problem- and not his. Many historical geniuses were said to battle mental illness, such as: Tesla (OCD)and Ludwig van Beethoven, the brilliant composer experienced bipolar disorder, as documented in The Key to Genius: Manic Depression and the Creative Life by D. Jablow Hershman and Julian Lieb. Maybe I focued too much on one aspect of the character; I do hope George finds his peace and his due. Also, I should add, my views are not an attack but just one person's take.

Edited by Mitthrawnuruodo (05/02/07 10:50 PM)
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Carl Sagan

#21210 - 05/03/07 03:28 AM Re: A Universe of his own [Re: Mitthrawnuruodo]
Wolfman Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 264
Loc: Pago Pago, American Samoa
In Chapter II does George realize that he's from the Planet Krypton?

Nice writing, I enjoyed it. Keep it up. A pity "Omni" Magazine is no longer around.

#21244 - 05/04/07 03:19 AM Re: A Universe of his own [Re: Wolfman]
Tim Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 192
Loc: California
Wow, that was good Blacknad. But as a writer to writer, I would like to say that the line "By the time George finished school almost every major work on human nature, the meaning of life, or the nature of the universe had passed beneath his hungry gaze," is a bit too cliched. I would try wording it so that "the meaning of life" is worded differently, to enhance its effect, and reduce this clicheage (if thats a word). But it was good, nice job. I like to write, and am thinking pursuiting a career in writing when Im older (as you may or may not know, Im 16, so I've still got possibilities, but I particuarly enjoy writing).

#25094 - 03/11/08 10:45 PM Re: A Universe of his own [Re: Blacknad]
Kevat Shah Offline

Registered: 03/11/08
Posts: 37
Loc: Grenada
So what is the point of this story and where will it lead, if you don't mind me asking.
- Kevat Shah

#25125 - 03/15/08 04:14 AM Re: A Universe of his own [Re: Kevat Shah]
Mike Kremer Offline


Registered: 10/16/04
Posts: 1696
Loc: London UK
That will develop into a very unique SF story Blacknad.

I expect you will enlarge upon your story, up to ten chapters or more?
Since George Caldercott now understands how the universe worked,
I will be looking forward to reading as to how he controls us, within his own universe?
When published might even be put forward as a SF film. Good luck.

"You will never find a real Human being - Even in a mirror." ....Mike Kremer.

#25126 - 03/15/08 05:50 AM Re: A Universe of his own [Re: Mike Kremer]
Ellis Offline

Registered: 01/08/07
Posts: 1490
Loc: Australia
Understanding the universe is all very well, but does George really understand himself, his motivations and his interactions with others? So far he has just assumed that he is in charge, maybe he thinks that without himself and his own existence there is no reality---and then one day something entirely chaotic and random happens---is this actually another equally controlling mind at work----?

Have fun Blacknad... I hope you continue with writing, the world needs people with imagination, there are enough control freaks!


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