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#11023 - 02/11/06 08:05 PM The Dangers of Bread
DA Morgan Offline
Megastar

Registered: 10/17/04
Posts: 4136
Loc: Seattle, WA
A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "Smell of baked bread may be health hazard." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone (I'm not making this stuff up).

I was horrified. When are we going to do something about bread- induced global warming? Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread?

Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice....

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low occurrence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after only two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. No advertising of bread within 1000 feet of a school.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. A $4.2 zillion fine on the three biggest bread manufacturers. Please send this e-mail on to everyone you know who cares about this crucial issue.

Plagiarized with pleasure from:
http://www.geoffmetcalf.com/bread.html
Thanks Geoff!
_________________________
DA Morgan

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#11024 - 02/12/06 12:37 AM Re: The Dangers of Bread
Anonymous
Unregistered


Wow! I never realized how dangerous that stuff was! Right up there with dihydrogen monoxide. ;-)

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#11025 - 02/13/06 07:36 PM Re: The Dangers of Bread
soilguy Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/28/05
Posts: 414
Loc: North Carolina
Quote:
Originally posted by DA Morgan:
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after only two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts.
I can quit eating bread any time I want! Yeah, some people get addicted, but that's because they're weak. And it's not bread that's the gateway food, it's matzoh [sp?]. You see a matzoh eater, and next thing you know, they're out on the streets looking for leavening. It's scary.
_________________________
When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
--S. Lewis

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#11026 - 02/13/06 08:02 PM Re: The Dangers of Bread
DA Morgan Offline
Megastar

Registered: 10/17/04
Posts: 4136
Loc: Seattle, WA
And cream cheese, and lox, and then they go on to the hard stuff: capers and onions.
_________________________
DA Morgan

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#11027 - 02/14/06 02:08 AM Re: The Dangers of Bread
Blacknad Offline
Superstar

Registered: 10/05/05
Posts: 901
Loc: Coventry, England
It's not just bread - the painful reality is that all food is addictive. I've tried to come off it, but after a few days I started to feel very weak and the cravings were intolerable.

The sad thing is that mothers give 'food' to babies as soon as they possibly can - it's a tragedy - we are all insidiously hooked on food soon after birth.

Think of the tobacco companies and the money at their disposal to bribe politicians with. Now think of the food companies - they make much more money than that - easily twice as much in a year, probably. They are clearly paying off health professionals to dupe us all into believing that we need food.

A company I almost heard of started to produce 'food patches' to help people give up food, and you guessed it, their building was blown up and everyone in that city was tortured to death by Nestle to ensure their silence. And not one word of it appeared in the press.

Last year the UK government, realising the dangers of food, tried to push a complete ban on eating through parliament, but this was quashed in the House of Lords and many saw the hand of the food companies in the background. Again ? not a word of this was reported in the popular press, or indeed anywhere.

The stark truth is that unlike drugs that leave the body in just a couple of hours, food remains inside us for practically years. The lower intestines are 3 miles long (that?s a cool 265 meters) when unravelled and it takes food almost forever to complete its journey, and the sad fact is that every other piece of food will simply give up and never see the light of day.

The awful truth is that food experts have discovered that food is really all brown and gives off a disgusting odour. Food companies are able to skilfully mask the smell and cover food with powerful dyes to make it appear colorful and more attractive. But just take a look at it when it's ejected from the body after all the coloring has been washed off. Would people really eat it if it wasn't cleverly disguised first?

So you think bread's bad:

1. MANY more than 98 percent of convicted felons are food eaters - the causal link is beyond doubt.

2. ALL children who eat food score on IQ tests if they sit them, all but the top few score lower than others.

3. We used to have to cook food and that took time, but with the advent of fast-food you can now ingest food and literally get it into the blood-stream twice as fast - a scientist has confirmed. It?s predicted that as food progresses and gets ever faster we will soon have faster-than-light-food and be able to eat food before we have actually bought it. This is a time-bomb quite literally waiting to happen.

4. It's a scientific fact that people eat more food nowadays - obesity figures prove it. In the olden days when we ate little or no food, things were much better and you could leave your front door unlocked - any old person will verify this.

5. There is a direct link between food and violence - every violent crime has been committed by someone either 'high on food' or suffering the intolerable agony of withdrawal (it's not called cold-'TURKEY' by coincidence), and a scientist somewhere can demonstrate beyond doubt that Hitler was more than likely 'off his head' on food in the run up to and right through the whole of the Second World War. And plants that have learned to go without food and live on only water and sunlight are well known for their peace-loving ways and tolerance of others.


The food companies are also using technology to gather compromising information about their customers ? (which means all of us) ? for blackmail purposes to complete their stranglehold on the human race ? according to the following web site:

http://whitepapers.nestle_&_cadbury_..._human_race.htm

This information is so contentious that I expect it to go offline very quickly and experience 'Technical Difficulties'.

So everyone, let?s not get caught up in the fine detail ? yes, bread is dangerous, but it?s only a small part of a much larger conspiracy. We have to see the big picture. ?Food may well turn out to be the cause of death ? we just don?t know,? a scientist has said last week at a big University.

Blacknad.

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#11028 - 02/14/06 04:49 AM Re: The Dangers of Bread
Anonymous
Unregistered


ROF,LMBBO!

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#11029 - 02/14/06 02:17 PM Re: The Dangers of Bread
soilguy Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/28/05
Posts: 414
Loc: North Carolina
FEAR NOT, THERE'S HOPE!

Some have kicked the habit and have become Breatherians. See: http://breatharian.info/index.html

(You'll notice this is a "dot-info" address, guaranteeing that it's all true.)

Especially apropo for this forum, is the Scientific Explanation for this phenomenon:

Quote:
Explanation for a scientifically-minded

Of all the other organisms, the human body is the most complicated, integrated and self-regulated energetic system. It is complicated and in many aspects unexplored computer-mechanic-chemical formation, controlled by the brain with the whole layout of magnetic, electric and gravity radiation. This complicated machine can be adapted to all possible living conditions on Earth, if given enough time and developed in right way.
We haven't fully explored the human organism energy system. One of the ways of powering human body is energy and substances created by the chemical and physical factory of the body (excretory and respiratory system). Apart from this powering system, there is another, a reserve one (or maybe major one but moved away to the reserve role), which is able to transform the available energy directly. This powering system transforms the energy directly into matter, so in this way all that the organism needs. The pineal gland is claimed to have a crucial role in this process. This hypothesis is confirmed by research undergone on some people, where CAT scanning shows a significant enlargement of this gland. The pineal gland manages (like a central processing unit) the mechanism of direct energy exchange between the organism cell and the surroundings (it actually occurs at a sub-atom level).
One explanation, purely scientific, which comes from a nuclear physic says as follows: the organism consists of tissues, which are built of chemical molecules, and next these molecules are built of atoms. Atoms consist of electrons and protons, which are built of smaller elements. As the result of this way of looking for an origin element, we reach the point, where the matter does not exist. There, we have only something, which we can call vibrational whirls of energy. As long as history exists it has been known under different definitions, for example prana, orgon, light. Hence such definitions originated such as "living on light" or "prana nourishment". All the matter which exists in the Universe, including the human body, is comprised of whirls of vibrational energy. The human body is the best well-known sophisticated, programmable and simultaneously self-controlled electronic-physical-chemical machine with a central management system, called the brain. There are centers in the brain, which manage body energy and chemistry (mainly pineal gland and pituitary). In this way, the organism lives and builds itself using these whirls of energy.
_________________________
When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
--S. Lewis

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#11030 - 02/14/06 04:20 PM Re: The Dangers of Bread
Blacknad Offline
Superstar

Registered: 10/05/05
Posts: 901
Loc: Coventry, England
Soilguy,

What an excellent find.

I saw a true website that said that a scientist somewhere had proved beyond all reasonable doubt that he could invent a new car that could run for over a decade on just a thimble full of saliva.

Well you can pretty much guess what happened - The petrol companies killed him and anyone who knew him, and anyone who knew them, just to be sure. And significantly, not a word was reported in the popular press or indeed anywhere else. It seems that no one ever knew about this.

I would imagine that your friends at Breatharian will shortly meet a similar agonising end at the hands of some covert operatives from 'KFC' or some such.

The KFC - like the CIA but three times as ruthless and five times as deadly. If you think that's chicken you're eating, think again - it might just be a hapless Breatharian.

My advice to you my friend is to forget you ever heard about Breatharians.

Blacknad.

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#11031 - 02/16/06 03:26 PM Re: The Dangers of Bread
y Offline
Member

Registered: 12/07/05
Posts: 49
Loc: everywhere
would the greater surface area of sliced bread increase the hazard?


----------------------------------------------
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me
than a frontal labotomy
----------------------------------------------
_________________________
y

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#11032 - 02/17/06 09:14 PM Re: The Dangers of Bread
DA Morgan Offline
Megastar

Registered: 10/17/04
Posts: 4136
Loc: Seattle, WA
Sucks the water out of your body causing dehydration much faster. And just think of the increased choking hazard if you toast it.
_________________________
DA Morgan

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#11033 - 02/23/06 01:22 PM Re: The Dangers of Bread
RM Offline
Superstar

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 560
Loc: London
DA Morgan, all your statistics are just regular statistics with nothing to do with bread. Everyone eats bread. Leave bread alone.

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#11034 - 02/23/06 05:56 PM Re: The Dangers of Bread
DA Morgan Offline
Megastar

Registered: 10/17/04
Posts: 4136
Loc: Seattle, WA
What I find most fascinating about the commentary here is that the reason I chose to post this was:

12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

Unless you forgot to put in sarcasm tags you missed the point entirely.
_________________________
DA Morgan

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#11035 - 02/24/06 11:13 AM Re: The Dangers of Bread
RM Offline
Superstar

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 560
Loc: London
Now I get it. I got bored of reading them and stopped at number eight. There's a lesson to be learned here...

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#11036 - 02/24/06 08:42 PM Re: The Dangers of Bread
RM Offline
Superstar

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 560
Loc: London
you know, you could have saved a lot of space and just said that 67.8% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

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#11037 - 02/24/06 10:37 PM Re: The Dangers of Bread
DA Morgan Offline
Megastar

Registered: 10/17/04
Posts: 4136
Loc: Seattle, WA
That should be 72.47%. Where did you get your eroneous number? ;-)
_________________________
DA Morgan

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#11038 - 04/15/06 01:05 AM Re: The Dangers of Bread
Chemcial_catlisyt Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 3
Loc: WA
are you jokiong ?? thats the stupidist thing i have ever heard!! i bet you got either made those stats up or got them from a hoax website... i mean too much of a good thing is bad,yeah ,but it wouldnt explain the home baked bread. i think it not the bread itself,its the all the processing and perseravtives and chemical crap they put in there.

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#11039 - 04/15/06 01:08 AM Re: The Dangers of Bread
Chaoslillith Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 03/05/06
Posts: 137
That was satire...at least his statistics were meant to prove a point about the general amount of useless hysteria that is promoted in the media.

"Tact is for people who aren't clever enought to understand sarcasm."

A sticker I have.

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#11040 - 04/15/06 01:13 AM Re: The Dangers of Bread
Chemcial_catlisyt Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 3
Loc: WA
oh ussless hysteria huh?? i bet i can find you at leats 7 different sites supporting my theory.

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#11041 - 04/15/06 01:14 AM Re: The Dangers of Bread
Chaoslillith Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 03/05/06
Posts: 137
Let me put it this way...THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THEN WORRYING ABOUT PRESERVATIVES IN BREAD!!!

Hence it being satire and useless hysteria.

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#11042 - 04/16/06 06:09 AM Re: The Dangers of Bread
DA Morgan Offline
Megastar

Registered: 10/17/04
Posts: 4136
Loc: Seattle, WA
Chemcial_catlisyt wrote:
"oh ussless hysteria huh?? i bet i can find you at leats 7 different sites supporting my theory."

And I can find sites that support the claim that the invisible purple rhinoceros created the universe.

Take a good look in the dictionary under 'crackpot', 'wacko', and numerous other terms that define people who have a hard time separating rubbish from reality.

The point of the statistics was very clear to anyone with more than a handful of synapses. To prove the point that (see point #12) "Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling."

You, apparently, are part of that majority.
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DA Morgan

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