Per FF to jw:
?If jw was an atheist life would not be found pointless and boring?

Life is what we make of it. So much of the every day experience of living fastens itself to us that I find it psychologically impossible to separate any of my life?s experience from my beliefs. I am not really a religious believer that concerns himself with God but I am compelled to think that there is some thing going on that is beyond our understanding. I do not want to recite what part of my life?s experience contributes to my attitude but it is compelling. It has not caused me to go to any church or practice any formal ritual relating to theology but it is there. I thought I dropped all thought of church and God when I gave up Catholicism as a young boy, and I really did. But things happen and cause ideas to change. I do not fear death so that is not a basis for my questioning ?reality? as seen by atheists. I find religious fervor highly objectionable in all forms and avoid it and those that espouse it. I can not think totally as an atheist, it is beyond my ability and my experience.
jw